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Member News July 2003
ASK OUR COACHESThis column answers questions submitted by our readers. Submit your questions to who will forward them to our coaches all over the world. Each issue, we'll publish a few answers from our RCI coaches.THIS MONTH'S QUESTION: THE COACHES RESPOND: MICHELLE ANSWERS: I feel that there is no real age-related reason why this relationship will not last. There are plenty of examples of women with younger guys, including Madonna, Cher, Olivia Newton John.... I can go on, but it is not only a celebrity thing. Relationships are constantly a lot of work. If you find someone who fits your requirements and is younger... GO GIRL!!! It is well proven that men live shorter lives than women, so it really makes sense for women to be with younger men. ENJOY.
TARA ANSWERS: Relationships like this can be long-lasting depending upon the awareness and maturity level of the two people involved. If the couple has thoroughly discussed their expectations as well as their relationship requirements, needs and wants, and if they find a mutual fit and congruency, then there is no reason that this cannot lead to a lifelong commitment with many years of shared satisfaction. Could a relationship like this be a fling? Absolutely, just as it could be with the ages reversed or, for that matter, with anyone of any age. Is society ready for this? Perhaps not. But, I will guarantee that we will witness more of this pairing of diverse ages as the population grows older and our stereotypes about what a couple "should" look like begin to fade away. The only significant downside that I see is that the woman is past her child-bearing years and this might be an issue for a man who might one day want a biological family of his own. Age is a number. You are as young as you think you are.
LINDA ANSWERS: May You Always Experience Love and Joy,
FEATURE ARTICLEEditor's Note: This month we are featuring a success story from RCI Coach Char Warman-Jones, who has discovered the joys and benefits of Relationship and Attraction Coaching. Enjoy her story! "CONSCIOUS DATING:" MY PATH TO TRUE LOVE!By Char Warman SINGLEHOOD After hard work in therapy & a divorce recovery group, I healed enough to want a relationship again. But dating - whew - for me to date, God would have to drop the guy on my doorstep - like a foundling. My thinking changed after I fell deeply in love with a wonderful man. Our relationship - solely emotional - healed us both, and gave me hope! At this time I gave my sweet agnostic Dad a prayer assignment -- to ask God to send just the right man. Dad accepted reluctantly. But I'd kid him about his progress and eventually his prayers became a powerful force! Dear friends added prayers too. What a difference community makes. New Year's Eve 2000 was a turning point. I attended a party with a married couple and two other single women. I recalled the old "saw": What you do at midnight is what you'll do the whole year. So I left before the ball fell on Time's Square. I was ready to date again! I went home and began writing my first newspaper personal ad. The words, flowing from heart to pen, soon appeared under the headline: "Radiant Redhead Seeks Remarkable Man!" I began to get responses, including persistent phone calls from a wealthy entrepreneur. I met men for coffee, lunch and dinner. By spring I'd dated eight men. Boy, did that boost my ego! When none of these dates turned serious, I took a break from dating. I also updated my look with a sexy haircut, new clothes and laser surgery -- a serious procedure I'd considered for some time. The savings I tapped for surgery was worth every penny! Friends told me about Internet dating.including one whose colleague met her husband online. I thought, "Cyber space here I come!" I joined several reputable Internet dating sites, then met and dated more men, including an incredibly funny dentist for three months. With each date I got clearer on what I wanted in a life partnership. When none of these relationships took root, I took another dating break. I cleaned closets, organized papers, made work changes, tossed my wedding gown. I was making "space" for True Love! That fall I joined the world's largest Internet dating site and corralled enough courage to post a sultry beach shot. The responses poured in - 200 in 6 weeks! I had a blast dating attorneys, engineers, business owners, even a man slated to head a Fortune 500 company. But still no True Love. I turned to the web for a search on relationships, and found the Relationship Coaching Institute. I took RCI's powerful Relationship Success Training for Singles program. It trained me to coach singles while taking me through the same steps. The impact was profound! It led me to write my first "Requirements, Needs and Wants" list - identifying characteristics most important to me in a life partnership. It also led me to adopt one of RCI's conscious dating tips: Be the chooser. I emailed 10 men who met many of my Requirements. My future husband was in that group! STEVE When we reconnected, though, we began to date in earnest. At the same time I joined an RCI Attraction Team, facilitated by Laurie Cameron, RCI's Director of Singles Programs. I wanted to satisfy requirements for coach certification. And I wanted to take my Life Partner search to the next step. I knew I could date with success. Now, I was really ready for True Love. Each week Steve and I grew closer. And each week, the Attraction Team helped me assess this relationship. Did it really meet my Requirements - those must-haves for the relationship to work? By the time the team ended 3 months later Steve & I were engaged. He presented me with a lovely heirloom ring December 26. It fit perfectly. As we did each other! Along the way I took more RCI trainings to coach singles and couples. Each took me closer to certification. Each took Steve and me closer to marriage. MARRIAGE AND BEYOND. "Arise, my darling, That's what it's been like for us.with True Love realized! I also started a Relationship Coaching practice to help other singles find their Life Partner. RCI has been essential in my training and growth as a coach. It's been as important in my journey to True Love. I'm so grateful to David Steele for creating such a powerful training institute.and my path to Steve!
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