Yvonne Kelly, MSW, RSW

Stepfamily Coach and Counselor
Licensed Relationship Coach for Singles and
Couples with The Relationship Coaching Institute

Founder and Co-Director of
THE STEP AND BLENDED FAMILY INSTITUTE
www.stepinstitute.ca    www.stepdating.ca

Featured Coach with www.blended-families.com
Featured Expert on Second Marriages with www.idotaketwo.com and www.topweddingquestions.com 

Are You Confused about Dating as a Single Parent or Are you Dating Someone with Children?

Are you in the Pre-Remarriage or Remarriage Stage of your Relationship and Want to have the most Successful Relationship and Blended Family Possible.  I can Help!

What I Do

I am a Stepfamily and Blended Family Coach that specializes in preparing people for relationships and second marriages involving children. I work with individuals and couples along the continuum from being single with children, through dating, the pre-remarriage and remarriage stages and into the years when they are working to create a successful stepfamily or blended family. I also coach singles who are asking important questions about how to date someone with children, what their role is and if this is the kind of commitment and relationship they are looking for. Many singles who don't have children of their own, are also eager to know what step parenting is all about and what their role will entail in a committed relationship. By providing critical information about the step dynamics and assisting the client to honestly identify what is truly important to them in their relationship, I can help them reach decisions that they are genuinely satisfied with.

In the area I work in, an important role as coach is to provide people with new information about the unique dynamics in stepfamilies and blended families and what makes them very different than nuclear families.  So the first step is one focused on education and from a basis of new understanding, clients can begin to articulate more realistic expectations regarding their lives in the context of a stepfamily or blended family relationship.

Secondly, no matter what stage people are in when they come to me, it is important for them to articulate a vision of exactly what they are hoping to achieve.  I utilize a series of questions, checklists and exercises to assist them in considering new areas of concern that they might otherwise not have been aware of. This also draws their attention to important questions that when answered, will help determine if the relationship is right for them and if they're on the right track. 

My Mission

MY FIRST MISSION

Originally, I began working with stepfamilies and blended families, to give them new information, and help them develop skill sets that would yield them more satisfaction in their relationships, and less conflict and frustration in their families. I was alarmed at the divorce rate in second families being somewhere between 50-70% in Canada and the US.  Having been in my own blended family for almost 9 years at that time, and having done a great deal of research and training in this area, I wanted more than anything to assist other families in learning more successful ways of functioning.  In short, I wanted others to avoid years of pain that could be alleviated with more accurate information, some new skills and the support that coaching could provide.

I have been doing this work since 2003, and I am committed more than ever to reaching people before they make the decision to re-marry and create their new step or blended family. What I have found is that if individuals and couples understand the dynamics and challenges of life in a blended family, before proceeding, they significantly increase their chances for success, as compared to those who don't think or plan ahead in a conscious way.  And by the same token, if single parents and their partners understand the complexity of dating with children in the mix, then they can avoid a lot of the issues and mistakes that not only destroy relationships but can also harm children. 

MY MISSION TODAY

* To utilize a Conscious Dating Approach to assist individuals in recognizing what type of life and relationship they honestly want and are willing to commit to, before dating.

* Work primarily with individuals and couples before they reach the remarriage decision.

*To alert singles and single parents to the issues that are important for them to know about before and while they are dating, and also when they are considering a more serious relationship commitment or remarriage.

*To coach couples who are in the Pre-Remarriage and Remarriage Stages and take them through a program that will significantly increase their chances for relationship and family success.

Professional

I have worked with individuals and families in the field of Social Work since 1987. I graduated with my Bachelors of Social Work at Ryerson University in 1991 and with my Masters of Social Work at the University of Toronto in 1992. I received my training and certification as a Stepfamily Coach and Counselor with The Stepfamily Foundation in New York in 2003 and have worked exclusively with Stepfamilies and Blended families since that time.  

I am a Co-Founder, along with my husband, of The Step and Blended Family Institute.  I also work as a Blended Family Coach with www.blended-families.com  I am a Featured Coach/Consultant on Blended Families with www.idotaketwo.com (a site for second marriages) and www.topweddingquestions.com. And I am a Licensed Relationship Coach with The Relationship Coaching Institute.

I continue to seek out new opportunities to learn as much as I can about relationships in order to support my clients in achieving the lives that they want. 

Personal

I have been married to my husband since 1995.  I am a stepmother to his 2 daughters and we have 3 sons together.  As a result of our own blended family experience, I decided that this was the area that I wanted to work in exclusively. I made it my personal and professional mission to explore and learn as much as I could about stepfamilies and blended families and find new ways to assist individuals and couples to have the successful relationships and happy families that everyone is aspiring to.

I live on a small acreage in rural Southern Ontario, Canada, just north of Toronto so we combine the best of 2 worlds by living in the country, but being close to a large metropolitan centre.  We have many animals, including four dogs, a horse and countless other farm animals.  My husband and I, along with our 3 boys, enjoy the country life and all it has to offer.  We have one grandson as my oldest stepdaughter recently gave birth to her first child.  And so our blended family gets a little larger.

I am fortunate to do work that I love and to be able to work largely from home. This was part of my vision as I wanted to be able to work where I lived and always be close to my kids.  Because I was able to envision this and attract these circumstances into my life, I know that each and every person has access to this same capability and source of energy many people refer to as The Law of Attraction.  I have always had a strong faith in individuals to be able to create the life that they want for themselves and that is also why I am so drawn to coaching because coaching puts the emphasis on us as individuals to make choices, take responsibility and intentionally live the life that we want.  I am excited to share this perspective and orientation with my clients and invite them to utilize the Law of Attraction in their lives, no matter what circumstances they are currently presented with. 

Coaching Style

My coaching style is eclectic in that I draw various approaches aimed at helping my clients achieve the vision they have for their life.  As a Social Worker, I also draw upon my skills and years of experience working with children and families in a number of capacities and settings.  

I challenge my clients to take responsibility for their choices, their actions and their limiting beliefs which are often the main reason they are not being successful in their relationships and have not achieved the life they want.  We all have circumstances and people in our life that we struggle with, but the key is recognizing what role we play in this and discovering our power to change things for the better.  As long as you want to be happier, more content and have a purpose in life - you can be, but it is a decision you have to make and then do the work that follows. I utilize several tried and true methods of challenging limiting beliefs and replacing them with ones that will help you not only reduce distress, but begin to feel whole, connected and at peace again, in yourself and in your relationships.

Because I predominantly coach people who are entering into unknown territory - either dating with children in the mix, or making the choice to become a stepfamily or blended family, I find it very useful to provide my clients with a great deal of new information about step dynamics and challenges in general, before we enter into their coaching process. Of course new information and strategies are shared throughout the coaching process, but I find it useful to ensure that my clients have much of the new information up front so we can then move on to clarifying their expectations and ideas of how they want things to evolve. From there we can begin to identify what their vision is of the family and their specific, realizable goals.

I coach in a very straightforward, supportive, yet challenging way and find humor to be an essential tool in my work with clients.  I encourage my clients to be open, authentic, and really embrace the coaching process as an integral part of their life's journey.

I coach in much the same way as I live my life - meaning that my goal is to live by the same fundamental principles that I speak to my clients about.  I have also lived the life of a stepparent and been in a blended family since 1994, so I have personal and professional first hand experience of what I speak about and what I coach people through, which for me is very important.  I try to live each day by the The Four Agreements as described by Don Miguel Ruiz:  1.) Be Impeccable with your Word, 2.) Don't Take Things Personally,  3.) Don't Make Assumptions and 4.) Always Do Your Best.  I truly believe that when we focus on ourselves and living our best life, wonderful and unexpected things can happen.

Client Comments

"Yvonne has used her expertise to help me realize my own potential in getting what I want not just out of relationships but life in general.  She has helped me find the strength to move past patterns of behavior that had been keeping me in a relationship that could never make me truly happy. I have been able to move forward to a place where I recognize how to consciously look for what I want and need in a life partner. Thank you Yvonne."
-- Jacqueline from Ontario, Canada
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"I've talked with my friends several times regarding the issues surrounding my blended family. I never got the feeling they truly understood what it really was like in those situations. All of them had been married to the same man they had kids with forever. It was so nice to finally find a friendly voice who knew exactly what I was feeling and someone who could really seem to understand how I felt. It was great to get a completely objective opinion on a subject that was complex. Yvonne offered so many suggestions and most of all was very supportive. I truly felt like I had someone on my side and someone who really understood what I was going through. Along with the helpful techniques and suggestions she offered, the support was phenomenal and just knowing that it was ok to feel the way I did, was enough to get me through a lot of hard days."
-- Laura B.  from North Carolina, USA
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"It is comforting to know that Yvonne is not only a coach and an accredited social worker, but has the real life experiences of a step/blended family.  Yvonne's warm style, empathetic nature, gentle coaching, and clear strategies were the sanity we needed to put the pieces of our family together. .  I always leave our sessions with a clearer sense of what it is I am striving for, what I need to do, and feeling good about some of the choices I have made.  Invaluable.  Thank you Yvonne."
-- Robin M. from Ontario, Canada
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"Obvious professionalism and experience, reassuring, trustworthy, separates the chaffe from the wheat."
-- David F. from Dublin, Ireland
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"Yvonne has been an excellent coach for me because she has been able to help in so many different aspects of my life. In addition to helping me navigate the challenges of step-parenting, she's given me insight into dealing more effectively with my boss and has taught me how to strike a balance between work and my other interests. She is also a great resource, is extremely generous with her time and truly makes me feel that anything is possible!"
-- Joy from New York

Contact Info

Yvonne Kelly
www.stepinstitute.ca
www.stepdating.ca
(905)936-STEP(7837)

Invitation

I invite you to visit my site to learn more about step dynamics and find out more information about coaching on these issues. If you are already in a Stepfamily or Blended Family, please go to www.stepinstitute.ca, sign up for our Free NEXT STEPS Newsletter or send me a Question about anything that is on your mind in our ASK YVONNE Section. 

If you are a single parent,  a single dating a single parent or a couple contemplating a new life together as a stepfamily or blended family, then go to www.stepdating.ca and find out more about our Stepdating Teleseminars.  You can also receive a Free Copy of The Step Dating Report.

I look forward to hearing from you!